Number Thirty-One
by howimetyourswarkle
Summary: Barney was always so secretive about Number 31. Never mentioning her name and never showing her to the gang. But what if Number 31 was Robin? Multi-chapter and Rated M for certain scenes. SWARKLES BTW I MADE A MISTAKE IN CHP1 IT'S 2019 NOT 2014
1. Chapter 1

Number Thirty-One

_A/N: Hay. This will be my first fanfiction. This is a Swarkles based fanfiction and the DISAPPOINTING ENDING (like the window and stuff) has never happened but everything else in the finale has. i have never been so mad before I MEAN TED HAS TRACY JFC. Please enjoy AND give me your comments. This is my very first and I'm open to any criticism._

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Chapter One

_May 2019 - 4:30AM_

"We got divorced...".

Those words stung around her head. It's been 3 years why hasn't this changed anything. Of course the divorce was so sudden. She was still in love with the man named Barney Stinson but due to work interference it ended all so quickly.

After the divorce, everything felt useless and nothing seemed to fit right but, being the Scherbatsky she is, she managed to pull through. But what's wrong with her? It's 4:30AM and all she's thinking about is him. Robin decides that trying to sleep is useless knowing it won't happen. Robin know she wants to call Lily to talk about things or even Ted for that matter but her stupid decisions have caused a major rift. To catch up with "the gang" seems like a burden nowadays.

After brewing up a cup of tea Robin turns on the TV and all she does is hope for the best of the rest of the day.

_May 2014 - 3:00PM _

"What am I doing in front of Maclaren's? That walk was just supposed to help her relax for the day as I was off for the day." Robin hoped that the gang would be else where as so not to run into them

Everything was just the way it was before. Well now Carl had his son helping but the booth. The jukebox. The green door. It was all the same. But one thing wasn't - the gang wasn't there.

Robin settled into the old booth after ordering some scotch. She started reminiscing about the good times back then with Barney cracking up dirty jokes about the girl her banged the night before or Ted making up some douchey comment. She wanted all of it back. All of the times she wasn't alone and stuck into her work-filled world. A few tears slid down her face before she wiped them away and rested her forehead on the table.

Suddenly, somebody slide into the booth. It was him. she recognized him by his shoes. His perfect fitting pants, perfectly tailored. Robin kept her head down not wanting him to see her this vulnerable.

"Hey Scherbatsky. Long time no see."  
That voice. It killed her inside. She wanted nothing more than to jump into his arms and be in the world of happiness together. To be held by his strong arms while her head rested on his strong chest. Robin raised her head and smiled at him.

"Hey Barney."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hay ppl. Sorry for the other chapter being so short. I'm still in summer break because my government is stupid. Anyways I'm going to be uploading a chapter every 3 days? or every week. Depends on how busy I am but I will make the chapters longer than the first one. THAT WAS A TEASE.

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_Chapter 2_

_May 2019 - 3:15PM_

"So how's life? We haven't talked in so long. THERE'S SO MUCH CATCHING UP TO DO! DID YOU SEE THE LAST ROBOTS VERSES WRESTLERS? I heard Mexican Ted retired though. So what's up Scherbatsky? Oh my god I'm TOO HAPPY. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!".

Barney takes the spotlight away from Robin's appearance as something else is on his mind that causes the excitement but seeing his ex-divorcee just brings back too much pain. But nothing could interfere with what is on his mind.

"Everything's great. Work's great. Life's great. Just allll great. Anyways, what's got you all pumped up?". Of course everything hadn't been great but not wanting to spoil the moment, Robin lied.

"Robin, I'm going to tell you the greatest conquest I have ever imagined has been set off," Barney pauses for a moment and leans in closer to Robin. "25/31. TWENTY FIVE OUT OF THIRTY ONE."

Barney is unable to hold in his excitement. He has never done something like this ever before and just the thought of how far he has gone just makes him want to jump the next subway train all the way to the Statue of Liberty, climb to the top, and scream out his excitement.

"What do you mean by twenty-five out of thirty-one?" Robin ponders for a moment until she realizes that there were thirty-one days in May. "Wait. Are you executing a perfect mon-".

"YES A PERFECT MONTH. You know how in 2010 I did a perfect week?". Robin nods slowly while sipping her scotch. "Well I was tired of well you know everything SO why not EXECUTE A PERFECT MONTH. Of course I knew everything would be risky but it was worth a try. So far 25 girls and 0 rejections. I'm about to hit that brunette over there and we're going to do it reaaallllll goooodddd if yu know what I mean. Up top!".

"Wow. That is so great. That is just spectacular. Well I've got to get to work. See you sometime soon?" Robin quickly leaves the booth and out of the bar. She starts walking but soon finds herself ending up in the bench of Central Park when she found out she was infertile. Suddenly, tears start forming at the base of Robins eyes. Here she is, a divorced woman crying over the fact that her ex-husband has almost finished his perfect week.

"This is pathetic. We have no more relation towards each other. Why am I crying? Uggghhh.". All Robin wanted was to hit up Lily or Ted and pour her heart out but ends up finding herself on her couch eating leftover lasagna from the previous night.

_May 25 ,2019 - 9:00PM_

Robin woke up with a two tissues over her face. Thinking she was back in Barney's apartment, she calls for Barney.

"Barney? You here-". Robin stops mid sentence when she is finally hit with reality. "Shit this happened again.".

Robin pulls out a bottle of whisky and soon it's midnight and a drunk Robin is singing as if she's in a karaoke bar only that she's in her living room and the "mic" is the empty bottle of alcohol.

"I shooulllddddd goo to the barr" Robin stutters. Nothing has changed about her appearance other than the fact that her hair was messed up in all sorts of ways.

The next thing Robin remembers is calling a cab and then passing out in the cab.

_May 26, 2019 - 8:00AM_

The next morning, Robin was woken up by little movements like a person is next to her. Her face snuggled into the chest of somebody with an intoxicating scent. This was so comfortable and it has probably been the best sleep she has had in probably three years. But who was this mysterious person that kept Robin in the state of relaxation and comfort? Robin opens up one eye and sees a broad chest. His slow chest movements from his relaxed breathing. Suddenly, Robin sits up when she sees the face of the man she's in bed in. She scans the room and looks up to realize she's not in her bedroom but in the bedroom of the no other than Barney Stinson.

There's movement from the stranger and the only words that come out of his mouth are, "Robin.".

"Barney. What am I doing here?!" Robin looks under the blanket to realize her clothes were still on. A pang of relief hits her as nothing happened between the two.

"You don't remember? I guess, I mean you were pretty drunk when I saw you. You got super Canadian as well which was totally not cool.".

"Just tell me what happened and why I'm here in your bedroom.".

" Okay fine. I was at the bar and all of the sudden you walk in screaming out the Canadian anthem and screaming words out in your Canadian accent. It was pretty amusing at first but you got distracted by the hockey game playing on the TV. I had just finished hitting up number 25 and decided to stay around. Just as I was about to leave you saw me and started using up your Canadian words. Carl stopped giving you drinks and you were about to bust one on him but I stopped you and everything was fine until you puked all over the floor. I called a cab for you and I didn't see you for the rest of the night until I went home and saw you crouching over at my door. It was too late to call a cab now so I figured there was no harm with this since you were pretty drunk and I knew you would try anything. We just went to sleep and that's it."

Robin was pretty hung over by now and all she wanted was to go home and drink a cup of tea. "I'm so sorry Barney. I didn't mean to cause you this inconvenience. I'm sure this won't happen ever again.". Robin quickly went up and left the apartment without letting Barney say a word.

Barney was speechless at how fast she left but was glad she did to spare any awkward talk. The morning went fine for him but the only thing that bothered him was the part of the story he didn't tell Robin.

When Robin saw Barney walk down the hall to his apartment, she stood up and started making small talk with him. After they entered the place Robin sat on the couch and started crying her eyes out. There was a bunch of confessions and how she truly felt. Everything. Over the past 3 years, every single detail of how she felt was poured out. Barney didn't know she felt this pain but to spare any trouble, he knew when she woke up, he wouldn't tell her about her sad outburst. Of course Barney wanted to get back together with her but there was too much conflict between them.

Barney and Robin that night thought about the morning scene. They knew they were both feeling excited but the pain of the divorce over powered the happiness. What was right for them to do? Would this day mean anything or would this just be a day they saw each other as friends or as Robin crashing at a friends house?


	3. Chapter 3

Number Thirty One

A/N: HAY. I know I made a mistake in the first chapter where I wrote 2014 instead of 2019. If you noticed this, just go with the flow okay? Thanks and any criticism will be APPRECIATED

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_May 27, 2019 - 1:00PM_

It had been a long day of work for Robin. Although being back in New York for a few days had been great, knowing that her past was still here made her want to leave to her next destination she got assigned to. Of course Robin wanted to see her old friends but she wanted nothing more than to just be alone for the time being. Of course, the events that transpired the day before intensified the want to leave her old home of more than 6 years.

Robin had just settled down her couch after freshening up when she received a call from her boss.

"Robin! Sorry for the unexpected call. I'd like to report to you about your next assignment. We looked over your profile and saw that you've lived in New York for some time. Seeing this would probably be more convenient to you, we've chosen to make you the permanent anchor for WWN - New York. We'll gladly talk over about this situation with you but this is a big time opportunity. Please come into the office the next time you're here for work. I send my regards. Good day.". Robin was speechless. She had tried her best to avoid her friends during her visit to New York but now she's here as a permanent anchor?

"I need a nap.", Robin said. This as well as meeting Barney again was all too much for her to process.

_Two Hours Later_

Robin woke up to the sound of somebody knocking at her door. Nobody was told about her address after she cut ties with her friends. She did contact them once in a while but they've never came to the part of looking at Robin's new place.

Robin opened the door in her pajamas not expecting anyone important. She was surprised anybody had even knocked on her door since she moved in only three months ago. But who was at the door was more surprising than the fact that somebody actually came.

"Hey Robin.". It was Lily who offered the greeting. Accompanying her was Marshall and Ted.

Robin stood there in shock. She hadn't seen her friends in weeks. The only thing on her mind was how they knew where she lived.

"Hey! Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you guys in so long. Come in, come in!". There was some obvious tension going on between them. They were just not as close as before. After settling down on the couch with some beer, Robin finally broke the silence.

"Sooooo... how's everything going? How'd you guys know I was back in New York?"

"Oh you know just a hunch and stuff like best friend radar.. ha ha ha..." Lily didn't want to confess Barney told them about their encounter. She tried averting her eyes somewhere other that Robin's because she knew she would jus blurt out the truth from looking at Robin's strong gaze.

"And I suppose that you guys just knew where my building was but also which door and which level?". There was an awkward silence along with the sound of Lily shaking in nervousness.

"God Lily, stop shaking you look like a chihuahua.". Lily was already at her breaking point but just when she was about to blurt out the truth, she was interrupted.

"IT WAS BARNEY!", Marshall screamed. "Barney told us that you guys had an encounter so we figured it must've been important. To tell you the truth, we actually went to WWN and asked for your address so here we are.". Robin didn't know what to say. She was scared about if Barney told them about the morning after but seeing how Ted was silent the whole time was making the thought less significant.

"So back to the first question, how's everything going?".

" Oh great, Marvin is doing great in school. Also, the two little girls are just sweet little angels.". Marshall and Lily were so proud of their little family, it was just cute.

"What about you Ted?".

"Tracy and the kids are so wonderful and great." The awkward tension was obvious but it was unclear to Robin what the reason was.

Soon the awkward chit-chat subsided and it was like old times with the gang. Just without Barney but that was like most times when he was out hooking up with chicks.

_An Hour Later_

Robin was at the door sending her friends off who seemed to be a bit tipsy but not drunk.

"Well it was nice seeing you Robin. We gotta go a tuck the kids in before they start going crazy.". Lily and Marshall were the first ones to leave, leaving Ted and Robin alone.

"Look Robin, I know what happened between you and Barney. He told me right after Lily and Marshall left the bar. I know I'm not supposed to be bothered by it as nothing important happened but I can't seem to stop worrying about you. I just want to know if you're okay especially since the divorce and stuff...".

"Thanks for the support Ted, but that was three years ago. It's not a big deal anyways but thanks a lot. Now go to your girl and your kids. Have a great night Ted.". Ted finally left and Robin was alone. Again.

Being with her friends again was all so nostalgic. This led to a glass of Glen McKenna scotch. And then another. And then another. Three glasses of scotch did nothing to Robin as the years of scotch drinking and cigar smoking has caused her high point to increase.

Suddenly while thinking about her past, a pang of emotions she has held in over the past three years just hit her. There was obviously a lot of crying and her trying to stop crying, which led to more crying. Robin knew scotch mixed with crying was never a good idea.

Everything was going as planned when Robin picked up the phone and dialed the first number that popped into her head.

"Hey, it's me Robin. Look I'm feeling a bit lonely right now and I was wondering if you could come over. Thanks.". And Robin hung up the phone before getting a response. At this point she didn't care about who it was.

_A Few Minutes Later_

Robin was sitting on her couch holding the bottle of scotch and watching some late night show when there was a knock.


	4. Chapter 4

Number Thirty One

Chapter Four

_May 27, 2019_

"Barney." It was Barney who was at her door on a Monday at 4:00PM. The ex-couple stood there, eye to eye, absorbing as much as they could in fear of separation again.

Of course, the gazing came to an end and it just ended with awkward foot shuffling.

"What brings you here on a Monday at 4 o'clock?" By now, all Robin wanted to do was just take a long walk and then come home to have a long bath. It had been a long day for her and the stress was just hitting her hard.

"I know it's rude to visit with no notice but I couldn't ease my mind of our encounter. May I come in?".

"Yeah, sure. Scotch or beer?"

"A scotch please."

Robin sat down and placed two scotch on the rocks in front of Barney.

"You know Robin, I've missed you a lot during these past few years. I was obviously upset that our relationship had to end and it took me some time to get over you. I may have some feelings left-" Barney was interrupted by a cough from Robin.

"I know what you mean and all, but I don't want to get back together with you. Everything's completely gone.".

"Robin, I still have some feelings for you left, but I'm not looking to get back together with you anymore. Like you've said, we didn't work the first time and we didn't work the second time so why try a third? Look, I've come here to talk about what we are. Where we're at in terms of Robin and Barney. But you obviously don't want to have any relation with me so I think it's best we remain apart.". Robin was shocked. She knew she hurt Barney by her comment but she didn't know he would be this hurt.

"Barney, you came all the way here, let's at least talk about what you want to talk about." She stopped Barney from leaving at the door.

"Okay, so you want to talk? Let's talk. I haven't seen you in what, 2 years? Then all of a sudden, you were there, in the bar crying. I didn't expect our meeting in 2 years result like that but I obviously had to say something. Did you think I wanted to talk to you? I may have seemed like I was all happy for the day but what could I do when my ex-fiance was sitting in our old booth crying. And then later, you get drunk and you call me. Do you not understand how that made me feel? You're here sitting and saying that you don't want anything between us anymore when you hit me up like a booty-call just a few days ago. Although we may have not done any that night, it did bring back up old memories."

"Look here Barney, I didn't mean to cause you this much trouble. But I stand on what I said and I don't want anything to do with our relationship anymore. Only because I would like to avoid things like these, to save the trouble. If I were being honest here, I may have some thoughts here and then that our marriage may have been a mistake." Robin was lying, she just wanted to get Barney to express all of his feelings so that they could be stranger again.

"Our marriage was a mistake?! It may have been a mistake for you but it was definitely not a mistake for me. You of all people got married to me, Barney Stinson. Both people who were not up for the idea of marriage. I thought we were able to work it out. Defy the odds. Prove the people who didn't believe us to be wrong. Although you may have not put your effort into the marriage, I put my all into trying to make things work. Unlike you who only did it half-heartedly".

"What do you mean "half-heartedly"? Do you think our relationship didn't work because I didn't put my full effort? I was hurt Barney, in a way you didn't even know." Robin was confused at this point. She knew Barney was right but she just didn't want to hear it from another person.

"For fuck sake Robin. Let's be serious now. You know what I'm talking about. You want to know something that I've kept in during our whole time together? I saw you and Ted at the carousel at Central Park, holding hands when we were engaged."

"What do you mean you saw, you didn't even come to help me."

" You were my fiancé and you needed help, so I came to help you as soon as I could but there you were holding hands looking like you were making a mistake about marrying. I let that go but if you were just going to break up with me three years later, why didn't you just tell me before we got married. To spare any trouble. I stuck my heart out for you Robin, and all I got was a divorce and a confession from my ex-wife saying she should have married my ENGAGED best-friend. I was going down and I heard you and Lily talking. After our divorce, nobody comforted me, they all went to you and then you suddenly disappeared and we could only see you through the television. You think this was hard on you? You have no fucking idea what it has been for me. So don't talk jack about you being the victim". By now, Barney was yelling at Robin, tears threatening to spill.

"Barney... I'm so sorry."

"You know what, let's just cut ties now. We'll be strangers as you wish." Barney stood up and made a dash for the door.

Robin immediately felt guilty about everything. Soon, her tears that were held in from the beginning just fell down all at once. She collapsed on the bed and cried to the point where she was hyperventilating. She knew she wanted to get back together with him but nothing at this point seemed to be resolvable. The only thing she regretted now was not loving Barney enough. Everything would've been perfect. He was perfect and now she just turned him into one of her used toys.


End file.
